Kass: Taxpayers: The heat is on us

Illinois politicians are ready to grill -- but not each other

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There's nothing quite like inserting a can of beer into a chicken while you're contemplating how politicians treat us taxpayers.

A week before the big Labor Day barbecue weekend, our politicos are positively grill-tastic, preparing for the fall campaigns and glory to come.

Those manning the grills include Gov. Pat Quinn; Prince William of Shortshanksia; state Sen. Kwame "Don't Call Me Spoiler" Raoul, D-Obamaland; Mayor Rahm Emanuel; the insiders at the Regional Transportation Authority who kowtow to the Khan of Madiganistan; and all those Republicans who demand respect after kissing Bill Cellini's hand for years.

If they're the grill masters, what are we taxpayers?

We're the poultry.

You want the recipe for Kass' Beer Can Chicken? Then go online and find my Tribune video that has more than 400,000 clicks. (Go to chicagotribune.com/beercanchicken.)

I've got politicians on the barbie, but if you're going to make my chicken, don't listen to heretics like the fellow from The Associated Press who says to completely empty the beer can.

Empty all the beer? No beer in the beer can? Anathema. We shall burn him for a witch.

But in the meantime, what about our esteemed elected officials?

Race for governor

Kwame Raoul hates it when you call him a "spoiler," so I what am I supposed to call him?

The Kwame-Nader?

Kwame-Nader is an homage to Ralph Nader, who took enough votes from weird Al Gore to make George W. Bush the president.

Raoul is Haitian-American, popular among Hyde Park liberals and flirting with challenging incumbent Quinn in the Democratic primary. Quinn is already facing a challenge from mayoral brother and former Obama White House chief of staff William Daley.

So if the Kwame-Nader gets in, will he take black votes from Quinn? Does this help Daley?

"The notion that somebody has characterized me as a spoiler, given my record of achievement, not only advancing policy that impacts the black community, but all communities, is insulting at best," he told WLS-Ch. 7.

That's so precious, Sen. Kwame-Nader. You don't like being insulted? Who are you, the public relations guy for the Chicago Fire?

If you were serious about running for governor of a state in financial ruin, you would have been doing something about it long ago.

If Kwame-Nader was serious, he'd have been out there for months like others, staking out positions, declaring where he stands.

Instead, he's been running that legislative pension committee, the one that costs Illinois taxpayers $5 million for every day it doesn't solve the problem. Instead, it keeps meeting and meeting and meeting. And meeting.

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