Don't you dare flash your open palm at me. Put that hand down.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, why is Kass giving the Moutza of the Month for November when November isn't quite done?
Well, this week I'm on vacation. So my friends, let's moutza.
Prepare to give the hand sign of contempt of my Hellenic ancestors. Spread your fingers wide, and say the words: Nah! (here). Feesa etho (Blow on it), or Parta (take them), Fahta (eat them).
Now for the nominees.
Hi, Oprah Winfrey.
That's a lovely Presidential Medal of Freedom you're wearing, Oprah. Would you trade it for a scrumptious slice of White House pie?
Or would you rather wager it all in a friendly game of "Let the Geezer Racists Just Die"?
"Hands down," wrote Bill T. on Facebook. "Oprah! Nah!"
Christine E. voted for Rob Ford, the thoroughly pixilated yet fiscally prudent mayor of Toronto, though she added, "If it has to be an American, definitely Oprah!"
Kristin B. wrote: "How about people already camped out for Black Friday deals?"
That's the spirit!
I'd like to nominate Karissa and Rick Parran, of Georgia, stars of the reality TV show "Extreme Cheapskates."
To save money on shampoo, the Parrans take showers together, and he filches suds off her head to wash his own hair. They even share the same dental floss.
Karissa and Rick, Nah!
Naturally, all public libraries that hide behind the First Amendment to allow degenerates to watch pornographic videos that can be seen by children deserve a moutza. That includes the Chicago Public Library.
But Mayor Rahm Emanuel is the boss. And the fearsome Rahmfather just weighed in on the First Amendment.
"I used to tell President Clinton, when it comes to the American press, the First Amendment is highly overrated," Emanuel said in an interview at a Bloomberg Business lunch on the futures of cities.