The Democrats have it all wrong when it comes to one of their choices for a new President Barack Obama bumper sticker:
"Like a Boss."
The Democrats foolishly think the phrase derives from an old rap song denoting cool competence. "Like a bowse" is how the young people pronounce it.
"'Like a Boss' is rockin' it," said Heather, a sophomore at the University of Illinois who explained it to me. "The phrase 'Like a Boss' is like kickin' it."
But I have no intentions of kicking anything, except perhaps some Republicans, since they have it all wrong too.
Some are suggesting "boss" is a poor choice of words because it's the root of "bossy," the use of which is a modern-day thought crime much loathed by supporters of Hillary Clinton.
Others are mocking Obama by offering their own version of the bumper sticker slogan. One version uses a photo of the president in his mommy jeans and White Sox jacket, tossing out the first pitch at a baseball game, leading with his elbow and throwing, well, definitely not like a boss.
A few, though, asked pertinent questions about the Obama "Like a Boss" meme.
"'Like a boss'? What does that mean?" wrote lawyer John Hinderaker, a founder of the conservative Power Line blog. "Are they saying Obama is like a boss, i.e. your supervisor at work? That is not exactly how the Founders conceived of the presidency, to put it mildly."
Perhaps, but here's the thing about the Founders: They didn't learn their politics in Chicago.
And Chicago, where Obama was (politically) born, is where bosses come from. It is the land of bosses.
We've been ruled by bosses for almost a century. We've been bossed by politicians and criminals, vicious, ham-fisted men who use government to bend the people to their will.
Sometimes the boss is hardly known, a wizened old man who sits in a restaurant booth in the Viagra Triangle. Other times, the boss is out front, leading a parade.
That's why I'm so eager to get my hands on an Obama "Like a Boss" bumper sticker. That slogan is the least boring of six options offered in an online survey by the Democratic National Committee.
I want my own copy so badly that I'm offering right now to cut off the tip of my left pinkie finger, wrap it up in a handkerchief the Yakuza way, touch it to my forehead and give it to the new boss of Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel.
And he'll hand my bloody little pinkie stub to his buddy, David Axelrod, the chief metaphor specialist for Obama.
When Axelrod opens up the handkerchief, and sees my flesh in there, a puckered but silent testament to my support for "Like a Boss," he'll know what to do.
He'll make "Like a Boss" the official bumper sticker of the Democratic Party, like a boss. And he'll give me a few bumper stickers, like a boss.
But is Obama truly a boss, the Chicago Way?
He's president, and he's cool, and he sings bits of Al Green songs to Michelle in public, and watches all the SportsCenter highlights he wants, either before or after he's killed enemies with drone strikes.