Just as April's Moutza of the Month was about to be awarded, some readers began cracking under the pressure.
"Too many choices," complained Joe Montefinese. "Looks like another mass moutza."
It was almost a Facebook mutiny because, as I've said many times, when it comes to the coveted Moutza of the Month — there is a rule:
There can be only one.
And as I was ready to bestow the ancient Hellenic hand signal of disgust — fingers spread wide, open palm pointed at the offending target with a hearty "Nah!" (Take it) or "Feesa etho" (blow right here) — readers got edgy.
"How in hell do you expect us to pick just one?" said Lawrence K.
Yes, there were many worthies, like LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling, ripped for his whiny racism and his exotic companion V. Stiviano, who her lawyer said was really not Sterling's mistress, but his archivist.
His archivist? In those clothes? Nah!
"For the Moutza of April, the environment is so target-rich the decision must be impossible," said Joe Thouvenell.
Then comes the cowardly South Korean ferry captain who jumped from his ship to safety, still in his underwear, as hundreds of young people in his boat died.
"I would like to nominate the woman who stole the stuffed animal from the child's gravesite on Easter," said Susan Kunz Hood. "She should get prison time for that!!"
The unidentified woman was caught on videotape stealing a little stuffed duck from the grave of an infant in a Toronto-area cemetery on Easter Sunday.
A moutza is too good for this thief. She's already lost her soul.
Or Alabama state Rep. Alvin Holmes, an African-American Democrat playing the race card. He bet $100,000 that white people don't adopt black children and then reneged when a large, feisty crowd of interracial families rallied to claim a prize that wasn't there.
Rep. Holmes, is your brain stuck in 1962? Or did you really fall out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down?
Nah! Blow right here.
What of Republican Sarah Palin declaring that waterboarding is the best way to "baptize terrorists." And Nevada rancher and brief Republican icon Cliven Bundy wondering aloud (and stupidly) whether blacks were better off in slavery than free on welfare. How high are the stupid trees in Nevada?
Palin? Bundy? The moutza is nonpartisan: Nah! and Nah! again.
"My moutza has to go to Madigan and the Illinois Democrats for pushing for $100 million (in) taxpayer money for a completely broke and downgraded state for a library to a president who had no trouble raising (nearly) $1 billion for a presidential campaign," said John Dyslin.