Guillen also wanted to make fun of Kansas City’s starting pitcher.
Apparently, the Sox’s revolutionary plan to snap this pathetic offensive slump was to mock the opposing pitcher while telling his batters to see ball, hit ball, see what happens, and what happened was one run on a bases-loaded walk in a miserable 4-1 loss.
If “you cannot teach those guys,’’ as Guillen said, and if “you cannot talk to those guys,’’ as Guillen also suggested, then why is Greg Walker there?
More importantly, why are some of those players still there? Guillen has benched everybody who has stunk it up. The Sox offense is still stinking it up.
So, change the roster.
What is Sox general manager Ken Williams waiting for?
Especially Ken Williams. The GM who would be voted most likely to spontaneously combust has turned into a dud. Trade somebody already, would you?
At this point, it doesn’t matter who. Just trade somebody. Somebody has to leave that clubhouse to let the rest of them know that others might follow. It seems that bad. It seems to require something that drastic, especially with the vexing Twins coming in for four games of what figures to be retch-inducing play. I mean, we’re talking about a dogbreath offense that ranks among the most undisciplined in baseball and seemingly the runaway leader when it comes to failing with runners in scoring position.
And Wednesday, it went from bad to cockamamie when Adam Dunn, the poster child for Worst Free Agent Signing Ever, drew two walks against a left-hander, while Paul Konerko -- the “Paul-Star,’’ don’t you know -- grounded into a double play and struck out looking with the bases loaded.
Point is, taking anybody out of that lineup couldn’t possibly make it worse. Adding anybody from any team, except maybe the Cubs, has a good chance of making it better.
But the GM is as lifeless as the lineup. Hey, look, what could you get for Carlos Quentin? Yeah, I know, he’s good. Then he ought to bring something good in return.
Or bring up Dayan Viciedo and cut somebody. How about Omar Vizquel? The Sox already have paid half his $1.75 million salary, Guillen could maintain his bromance with Juan Pierre, and you’d have Brent Lillibridge and Mark Teahen to move around the infield while putting Pierre in center flanked by Quentin and Viciedo. No, it’s not perfect, and yes, the outfield defense might be scary, but come on, it’s not working with Alex Rios.
Interestingly Wednesday, Sox TV broadcaster Hawk Harrelson answered the many texters who wondered about Viciedo’s minor-league stats (.315-15-59 entering Wednesday). Hawk’s texter-friendly service came in the ninth inning of a dreadful offensive performance.
Was it just a coincidence?
A dadgummit plea for somebody who might threaten to put it on the boaaaaaaaaarrrrrrdddddd?
Because look: If you can’t take a series at home from the worst team in the American League, then how can you take the division? I’ll hang up and listen for my walk-off balk.