Quick someone tell Martz to Hanie-proof the Bears

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I love the job Mike Tice has done --- has usually done --- but the offensive line coach's blocking schemes and players are absolutely useless against 3-4 schemes.

Or if it's not the schemes, then it's the way they're taught because the linemen don't get it. Neither do the backs and tight ends. I mean, it looked like Matt Forte hobbled to the locker room with not just a majority of the Bears offense, but with the secret to blitz pickup, too.

The Bears blockers got torched by the worst pass rush in the league. The Chiefs sacked Bears interim quarterback Caleb Hanie seven times after coming into the game with a season total of just 13.

Tice's bunch and protection schemes looked lame enough to allow three sacks to a 3-4 defense from the Lingerie Football League.

The good news is, the Broncos don't play a 3-4 defense. The bad news is, the Broncos play better defense than the Chiefs. Can I get an "Uh-oh'' from the congregation before heading into Tim Tebow's manger?

Lovie Smith said the Bears' defense is set up to stop Tebow's read-option offense, but the real problem is what a good and opportunistic Denver defense might do to the Bears' junior varsity offense.

The Broncos have an aggressive pass rush, so if you thought Hanie and the offensive line stunk before ...

The Broncos also have actual cornerbacks who can cover man-to-man, so if you thought Roy Williams stunk before . . .

(Hanie to Williams --- probably not the first line on Jerry Angelo's resume.)

The Broncos are tied for fifth in the league in sacks and have forced 14 forced fumbles, as many as the Bears, who are much more celebrated for such things. If the Bears couldn't block a team that didn't know how to rush the passer last week, what happens now? Can I get another "Uh-oh'' from the congregation?

The day after choking against the Chiefs, Smith declared that "Caleb is our quarterback,'' which ought to get somebody fired.

Hanie's 23.8 quarterback rating prompted a lot of people to bring up Donovan McNabb's name. Hanie's second straight three-interception game also prompted Brett Favre to bring up Brett Favre's name.

Like the Jimmy Buffett song goes, Brett: If the phone doesn't ring, it's the Bears.

Smith declared the Bears wouldn't look outside Halas Hall for quarterbacks, not when they can't even find one inside, so it's on Hanie to ascend to, I don't know, Tyler Palko territory.

Hanie was supposed to make progress against the Chiefs. He was supposed to show us what he learned --- show us that he has learned how to learn in the NFL.

Nothing. He gave the Bears nothing to believe in.

Hanie overthrew Earl Bennett on a sure touchdown. Hanie threw a jump ball to itty-bitty Johnny Knox, who predictably got out-fought by a defensive back for an interception. Hanie ruined several drives by throwing short of the sticks.

Bad throws, bad responses, bad results --- the Hanie Hat Trick.

Some of the sacks were on Hanie, as well. He's so unfamiliar with taking snaps that he refuses to get rid of the ball. Pretty shiny thing. Neato. Look at that. Ooof!

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