Alabama's defense is ruder than Kanye West, and Marshall hasn't mattered since Byron Leftwich exited in 2002. Plus, the Hokies lost their most reliable weapon, tailback Darren Evans, to a season-ending knee injury in August.
Now we have intrigue.
Now Tech braces for back-to-back home games that might very well define its season.
That sounds daft, I know. The leaves haven't started to turn, and Mariano Rivera hasn't saved a playoff game.
But Saturday's collision with Nebraska and next week's with Miami likely will answer the age-old question: contender or pretender?
Win two and the Hokies affirm their preseason status as ACC favorites and potential top-10 material.
Stumble against Miami — the Nebraska result will dictate the vibe for that game — and Tech could face a serious slog in the conference's Coastal Division.
Here's why: Courtesy of an opening victory at Florida State, the Hurricanes are 1-0 in the ACC. Hold serve tonight at home against Georgia Tech and win in Blacksburg, and Miami is 3-0, owns tiebreakers against the Techs and has the meat of its league schedule in the rear-view mirror.
Miami is 20th and Nebraska 19th in the Associated Press poll, but these are not vintage times for either storied program.
The Hurricanes are 21-20 against ACC foes since joining the conference in 2004, which lags behind even Virginia (21-19), where coach Al Groh is gurgling in hot water and being fitted for a cement sweatshirt.
Meanwhile, the Cornhuskers have lost nine consecutive games to ranked opponents, 11 straight to top-20 outfits and haven't beaten a top-20 foe on the road since a 1997 victory at No. 2 Washington.
Naturally, Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer didn't receive or ignored that memo.
"I think Nebraska is back," he proclaimed Wednesday.
Please. Even if the Cornhuskers and second-year coach Bo Pelini beat the No. 13 Hokies, we're talking about a program that hasn't won the Big 12 in a decade — longest drought in more than 40 years — and opened this season with dustings of Florida Atlantic and Arkansas State.
Last season at Nebraska, Virginia Tech scored a season-high 35 points and did not commit a turnover. Tyrod Taylor passed for a season-best 171 yards on just nine completions and ran for 87 yards as the Hokies prevailed by five against a team that finished 9-4 and ranked 80th nationally in scoring defense.
At Miami, conversely, Tech had season-lows in points and rushing yards (77) in a 16-14 loss.
Most compelling to watch Saturday will be Taylor and the fleet of receivers and running backs around him. Dyrell Roberts, Xavier Boyce, Ryan Williams and David Wilson combined for six touchdowns against Marshall, and Roberts, a sophomore, is the most experienced of the lot.