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After Notre Dame failed on two consecutive out-of-bounds catches by Tyler Eifert, the Irish committed a third dumb penalty on the punt and the Tide needed but 61 yards for their second touchdown drive.
The muck of the Irish: With 6:14 left in the first quarter, Notre Dame had as many penalties — three — as offensive plays while being outgained 123-8.
The game had barely started and it was over. Notre Dame was so feeble, it even stunned the man who knows everything.
"The thing that was most surprising to me was how we were able to control the line of scrimmage," said Alabama Coach Nick Saban.
At halftime, the score was 28-0, with Alabama scoring one more point by beating Notre Dame to the door that led from the field to the locker room. The Irish were directed out another door, and if that led to the buses, everyone would have understood.
Can you say "uncle" in Gaelic?
"It was like, they kept putting up points, and we kept getting stopped, and they kept putting up points…'' said center Braxston Cave, shaking his head. "We just couldn't get it done."
It officially became embarrassing midway through the third quarter when Alabama receiver Amari Cooper, five yards from the nearest blue jersey, caught the ball at the 10-yard line and jogged in to give the Crimson Tide a five-touchdown lead.
By the time the game ended, McCarron had four touchdown passes, running back and most valuable player Eddie Lacy had 140 yards and two touchdowns, and Irish eyes were widened.
"Obviously, they took it to us,'' said linebacker Danny Spond, on a night that felt like a jeer, jeer for old Notre Dame.
Twitter: @billplaschke
