www.tidewaterreview.com/features/va-tr-opinion-parenting-0716-20140715,0,4486308.story

tidewaterreview.com

Column: Sometimes Just say 'no' to children

By ANITA BLAKE, Rehoboth Baptist Church

10:00 AM EDT, July 16, 2014

Advertisement

"Just Say No" was a campaign in the 80's and 90's launched to equip children to say "no" to drugs.

We would benefit from such a campaign today for parents to be empowered to "just say no" when our children demand a "yes" to something that we know is unsafe or unwise for them. Our children need to hear "No" for their protection, safety and in order to develop a realistic view of life. It is a small but important word.

1 Timothy 4:7-8 (NLT) Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives' tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. 8 "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come."

Dr. David Walsh, author of "No, Why Kids of all Ages need to hear it and ways parents can say it," explains that the reason parents fail to use "no" is because they "swim today in a culture that says 'yes'." He goes on to say "skillful parenting means saying no when we ought to."

Part of loving, caring for, and guiding our kids is helping them harness their powerful urges, wants and desires.We are not setting them up to fail when they never hear "no." No sometimes provides the very safety net they need to survive and even though they push your boundaries and challenge you often at every turn, your "no" speaks volumes to them about your love and care for their life.

Also, please know that we don't have to give a reason for our "no." Sometimes it is simply because our "knower" knows best. Our children depend on us to help them learn things like self-control, patience, money management, etc. Saying "no" is an essential part of our teaching and training.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The stakes become much higher over this issue of "no" as they age. Dr. David Walsh: "No builds a foundation for self-discipline, self-respect, and respect for others, integrity, perseverance, and a host of other character traits that lead to a happy, productive life."

Anita Blake, Rohoboth Baptist Church