October 1, 2010
It's crazy how it happens. You're idly flipping around late at night for something decent to watch on television and suddenly you're mesmerized by a commercial for a wacky solution to a problem you didn't know you had.
Now you've got two competing, contradictory thoughts:
1.That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Only a lunatic would buy that, and
2. I wonder if it works. I think I'll buy that now.
And so I did. I bought six "As Seen on TV" products--fashion and style items--and put them to the test.
There seems to be a bit of obsession with buttocks and breasts in these TV gizmos. Lifting, enlarging, concealing. For this experiment I mostly stuck with above-the-waist anatomy.
Of the items I tried, the one that sounded the absolute cheesiest, with a high yuck factor, turned out to be a favorite. That was Bare Lifts ("The instant breast lift…but without the surgery"). You slap this sticky crescent on your bare bosom, yank upwards and plaster the top half of the thing to your chest. Vavoom, your breasts are two inches higher. Call it The Perk-ifier. It works.
Don't let anyone see these in place. The adhesive adds wrinkles (not a good look). A minor redness resulted from sleeping in them. But they stayed put while running and bicycling. And, I know you're thinking it must kill to remove them but really, it's not a problem.
GO FOR IT: Bare Lifts, 10 for $9.99, Walgreens, walgreens.com for store locations; also barelifts.com
On the flip side of breast-related gimmickry there's the cover-up Cami Secret, a triangle of lace-trimmed fabric you clip to your bra straps to conceal cleavage in low-cut tops. A YouTube parody of the TV ad calls it a "boob apron." That's about right.
I could live with the polyester and the nylon/spandex lace but the deal-breaker was that the thing wouldn't stay flat. It wrinkled and buckled. Also, the weird garter clips dug into my skin when I wore a seatbelt. A full camisole is the preferred option.
DON'T BOTHER: Cami Secret, 3 for $9.99, Rite Aid Pharmacy, riteaid.com for stores; also camisecret.com
And just in case I wanted to "add a full cup size instantly" there was Strap Perfect, a piece of plastic that turns your regular bra into a racer back model. By pulling your bra straps up and in, your breasts are squished together giving you enforced cleavage. It works but I felt like my bra had been yanked toward my chin. If you hate showing your straps this is a fast fix but a racer back bra is better.
ONLY OK: Strap Perfect, 6 for $9.99 plus $6.95 shipping/handling, kmart.com; also strapperfect.com (or one similar, Strap Solutions, $2.80, Forever 21, forever21.com)
Just in time for Halloween! When I looked at myself wearing the Bumpits hair accessory ("Flat hair is so last year") my very first thought? Bride of Frankenstein. Or, if you want to look like a '60s Go-Go dancer, buy these. Otherwise, take a pass. Especially lousy for thin hair.
NO: Bumpits, set of three, $5.99, Walgreens, walgreens.com for stores; also bumpits.com
We've all got necklaces and bracelets we can't wear because they're impossible to close. No more. Clever Clasp magnet closures work great with an important twist lock feature built in. The clasps are bulky, ugly and cheap looking and can travel around to the front of your necklace—but I still love them.
YES! Clever Clasp, four clasps and two extenders, $8.99 plus $1.95 shipping/handling, amazon.com
You've spent a lunatic amount on a pair of jeans and they're the perfect length—with heels. But they drag on the ground in flats. You can multi-task your denim with Style Snaps by Hemming My Way. These sticky snap-ons let you change the length depending on heel height. These are a good option for quick changing pants length and are reusable—if you're careful. Also better than a safety pin to close a gaping blouse or tame a curling lapel.
WORTH A TRY: Style Snaps by Hemming My Way, 32 for $10 plus $15.98 shipping/handling, buystylesnaps.com; also 16 for $9.99 beginning Dec. 1 in Walgreens, CVS and Bed Bath & Beyond
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