Home on the Range

Night of the living blender

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The zombie apocalypse strikes many with fear, but I'm all for it. I've seen the upside.

Consider the blender. It works hard, blending. Grimy work. After a long day on the countertop, it needs a bath.

And yet, should the kitchen human wet a sponge and flip over her blender base, she will find a stern warning: "Do not immerse." As if.

How is grime lifted from the grime-spattered blender, if not via water? What is water, adequately applied, if not immersion?

Not that I'm confessing to blender immersion, warranty invalidation, or blendicide. Merely vigorous scrubbing. After which, the blender died.

The dead, in my experience, tend to stay that way. And yet, the zombie nuisance reveals that at times the dead come to and stalk the earth.

As did my blender. Weeks later, I was buttering toast, regretting the whole blender incident, when I sensed I was being watched. I looked up; two blender buttons glowed red, then blinked.

Days later, mid-salad, I heard a low growl. I spun around, fork prongs flared: quiet.

One evening the blender groaned, lurched and stumbled back to life.

Thinking quickly, I tossed in the cold coffee and stood back. It spun, it swirled, it completed its entire "smoothie" sequence, yielding a milkshake creamy and caffeinated enough to make anyone feel lively. And grateful.

Coffee milkshake

Prep: 5 minutes
Serves: 2

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon whole espresso beans
2 tablespoons cold coffee
2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 pint coffee ice cream

Make sure the blender is cool. If need be, set the carafe in the freezer for a few minutes. Drop in beans, coffee and cream. Scoop in ice cream. Cover securely. Let it rip. Pour into two tall glasses. Slurp. Be happy.

Leah Eskin is a Tribune Newspapers special contributor. Email her at leahreskin@aol.com.
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